To the women of New Jersey and honestly, to Housewives everywhere, let me start off with one piece of friendly advice: Please stop swearing on your children’s lives. Lucky for everyone involved it seems the universe apparently has bigger fish to fry, but still, shockingly weird flex whether you are knowingly lying or not!! Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, shall we collectively gasp at that wild season 14 RHONJ finale?
The original mob wife Dolores Catania gave her best job college try at bringing the group a smidge of resolution (yes, Dolo stans, she would’ve been an excellent candidate for an Olympic medal in balancing friends). But alas, it was a job that even the best blowout/eyeliner combo the TriState area’s ever seen couldn’t handle. There were a lot of f-bombs, dramatic exits, and unintentionally hilarious throwaway moments I had to rewind for (“he’s an amazing plumber!”) but we did actually learn something quite salacious despite the chaos. Here’s a breakdown of the RHONJ season 14 finale for those of you who can’t stop thinking mentally I’m here no matter how many times your manager pings you on Teams: ADVERTISEMENT
Image Credit: Rails Steakhouse
Season 14 has been very hot and cold. One minute we’re stuck on the same Gorga/Giudice hampster wheel of hate we’ve been subjected to for 11 seasons now (I don’t have to be a catholic priest watching grown men brawl at a child’s christening to say I’m pretty sure this is what purgatory feels like). The next minute Jennifer and Danielle are scrapping over charities at the backyard barbecue and Margaret is making petty a sport all across the state of New Jersey.
This finale kept up that rollercoaster of energy. I didn’t even think Margaret was going to make it in one piece to the mob wife dinner by the way Dolores came for her neck after Margaret insisted she did invite Dolores to the “reunion review”. Why was Dolores so infuriated that Margaret said she was invited to the post-reunion hang that was definitely not a summit? Apparently, Dolo thought Marge was carefully implying that she almost attended what obviously was a Teresa/Luis bash session behind Teresa’s back. After watching the scene back a few times it looks like Marge woefully misinterpreted Dolores’ comment “Well thanks for not inviting me to that” as a complaint of being left out, rather than the genuine gratitude for not being involved that it was. I do know two things for sure: I don’t ever want to make Dolores Catania mad and I do need whatever brand of injectables Margaret has in her forehead that stops her from breaking out into a sweaty mess under fire.
ADVERTISEMENT
After that scene, everything else was filler material until the ladies arrived at the famous Rails Steakhouse (has anyone submitted a historic landmark petition yet?). The dinner was a massive failure by all accounts but a few questions were answered.
Did Margaret ever speak to Luis’ ex?
Image Credit: Getty Images
Yes. According to Margaret, in March of 2022, after the contentious reunion where she accused Luis of digging up information and calling her son at work, Margaret spoke to Luis’ ex. Even though Dolores thought Margaret’s story changed, time stamps confirmed by the editors conclude the DMs Margaret said she exchanged would have been in 2022, *after* the terrifying video of Luis (that almost ruined the Jersey Shore and beaches everywhere for me forever) broke the internet.
Did Teresa prove Margaret led a “smear campaign” against Luis by leaking information planted by Luis’ ex?
Image Credit: Getty Images ADVERTISEMENT
No, despite Teresa saying she showed the girls in “black and white” Margaret had been working together with Luis’ ex (with whom he is in a very contentious lawsuit) we still have not seen the hard proof. The dinner would’ve been the perfect time to show whatever concrete paper trail Teresa has been alluding to for a year now that proves Margaret has been leaking things to the media on Luis’ ex’s behalf (kind of like the paper trail Bravo fan accounts exposed Teresa and Jen with). Exchanging a few DMs commiserating over a mutual op is low-key loser behavior, but it’s not anywhere close to coordinating a public attack against said person over a series of months. Teresa keeps saying Margaret should’ve come to court, but the fact that the court didn’t summon her against her will says everything you need to know about Margaret’s level of involvement with Luis’ legal woes.
When did Jackie Goldschneider meet with Luis’ ex-wife?
Image Credit: Getty Images
Talk about a big reveal! Everyone says Margaret has an arsenal of dirt, and if that’s true, this is the first time she’s ever put it to good use. Margaret told Teresa after much back and forth that Jackie was the one who had a formal sit down with the woman from Luis’ past to plot against the couple. After screaming her head off that Margaret was “fucking out of her mind” for even suggesting that could be the case, and tripling down that it wasn’t true, Jackie eventually admitted she did in fact meet with “the ex” in person before she and Teresa became new found soul sisters. This is after Jackie attended Teresa’s own anti-Marge meeting of the minds in the previous episode, where she said nothing as Teresa accused Margaret of something Jackie did herself, which blew everyone’s mind except Teresa Guidice.
ADVERTISEMENT
The truth is if Jackie wanted to obtain negative information about Teresa’s man since Teresa was spreading rumors about Evan Goldschneider at the time, it wouldn’t be too surprising. Again, a little low-brow, but certainly not outside of the realm of Housewives tit-for-tat 101. But the fact that Jackie sat on this information while she cozied up to Teresa in the midst of Teresa’s campaign against Margaret’s alleged evil scheming? The nickname “Judas Jackie Goldschneider” might actually have a lil ring to it, IDK. As fun as this whole dinner was, much like Jenn Fessler, I’m walking out on this crew without a serious overhaul for season 15.